What is home?

All it took was a short while at the computer, a viewing of Sherlock (BBC) with my girlfriend, a cup of tea, and the rarest of all things...a short burst of clarity and peace of mind. The moments they occur, should always be remembered.

...and so I ask again: What is home?

Home is a location, a feeling, a set of memories, or a community of people in which you share good times with. When home, comforts of life seem to be at an absolute maximum. But what if you were never feeling those good moments at home, what if your life became a vague blur from day to day, drowning out your normal daytime routine into a swirling disc of confusion and aggravation...

That sentence might have gone a tad bit too far. Sorry, let's try again.

The question I'm asking is: What is the beginning of the tipping point of the "last straw" that begins our spiral into depression?

I guess that question can't really be given a clear answer as its vague appearance makes it way into all of our lives, differently. When I think home, I think childhood memories, fun in the sun, and general happiness...but as all good things end...those memories begin to fade. It's a natural part of life but sometimes you begin to wonder, humans didn't always have these types of trouble invading their daily life. In fact, their primal instinct and way of survival depended on accuracy and speed of only their capable body, not more than 2.9 million years ago.

When did people become so civilized that their own thoughts on financial matters frighten them? Since when did the attention span of the human mind so intelligently shrink to that of a 7 second Vine video? These weren't relevant thoughts at the time of the Stone Age.

...ok, I admit that video was hilarious.

Sometimes I just wish human curiosity would've gone farther without the greed and personal gain factor to it, it's like a byproduct of ingenuity. Cash, paper money...I can think of no greater motivator to invent something new. Even right now, I'm selling my services as a composer/producer on another site...and I'm just making basic ringtones. I have to stop to think...how much can I make off of this, so I can determine if my living situation is still sustainable and I can pay back my own debts.

I truly hate it.

What a long way from the topic I've strayed, heh. As I feel I'm going through levels of topics that have been on my mind, it's funny to notice I didn't think about it...until I started to think about home. So I guess with all of that said, I'd love to hear some comments on the topic...if anyone has anything to share. :)

Midnight Sound Service - Imperium In Imperio (Bluetech Remix)



I've always liked Bluetech's material, and this is no exception. He always has an intro that sucks you in, and when you finally get to the meat of the song, you'll be blown away by how many layers of awesomeness are entering your cranium.

Disco Dan - Green Amnesia [Green Memories]


 This has gotta be one of my favorite songs of all time, right here. I talked about video game music and remixes in one of my last blog posts but I guess, what I can say here...is that this is one of the remixes that inspired me to begin remixing myself. More than that, it showed me how to form a song, really make an engaging intro to get people into it. You can find it, right here. Recommended as always. :)

and finally: Ulrich Schnauss - Monday (Paracetamol)



Simply amazing stuff...also, amazing fan video put together by Nikolaj Christensen. That's all I've got on this one, it's just an awesome track.

Thanks for listening!

Personal Blog #1

So I was thinking about these blogs a lot lately...

Of course, after 7 blogs one assuredly asks himself...."What do I have to talk about that's interesting?"

...and after 30 mins, a blank stare at the monitor leaves my ideas rendered futile. You can imagine for that each time I sit down to write one of these blogs I have nearly the same set of guidelines each time:

1. Write 500 words
2. Make an interesting topic
3. Find some good music

I'm not saying any one of those parts is more difficult than the other, but....wait, no. That's exactly what I'm saying. The interesting topic of this blog is always the hardest. Like many others, I, a lone traveler on the vast plains of Chrome and Mozilla, search endlessly for entertaining things to satisfy my insatiable boredom. For which, there is no cure...only treatment.

I've scoured the internet for hours upon hours, my patience wears thin for new, exciting content and after 9 hrs/day, nothing is entertaining anymore. My head becomes a stainless steel soup bowl, swishing back and forth with little care for South Park or FL Studio.

I've seen enough blogs at this point, to know, that if the content starts with "I walked today. It was raining so I went inside. Made some toast. Then I went to play some games..."

I'm probably not going to read the rest of that blog. Why? My mind works like a Brazilian conga line...if it isn't making me bump and jiggle, then there's probably no point in continuing.

So as you begin to see this formula in my blog writings...you've got to imagine I'm looking at the world like a director. It's not enough to simply endure things naturally occurring in life...as a person looking to recount and tell these stories later, you have to remember:

• How you were feeling at the time
• Precise moments leading up to, during, or in the aftermath
• Notice how others were feeling

Details, are the spice of life, and if things aren't specific and generally relatable towards readers, they're gonna notice (consciously or unconsciously) and be uninterested. Imagery is key to progressing the reader's knowledge on the subject. Like downloading or uploading, the final result can only be obtained by speed. The more clean-cut the facts, the faster the transfer.

So who am I to say that most of the content on World Wide Web cyberspace is crap and why is my opinion any tad bit relevant? It's probably not, and I can imagine a lot of people think the exact same things considering there's 156 million blog pages in existence today. 

But...

We all have to place our crappy feelings or ideas somewhere, I guess I just prefer mine in an air conditioned warehouse, housing over 33 trillion database entries every year. That sounds secure as...this (and it probably is).

Alright, just one song today. :)

D Chain - Rain Forest (ForeSpace Remix)

This song has just for some reason stuck with me. Reminiscent of when I first heard deadmau5, this song draws upon a minimal feel. It feels light as a cloud while keeping you grounded because of the dynamic drum work. As this is a free track, this should be a good find for any EDM fan.

It's all....part of the plan.

I'll be honest, the past few days have been a blur. Sleep schedule constantly changing and lack of food, has rendered me in a completely different state of mind. I feel healthier to a degree, but it does bring up some questions. Why did my schedule change so dramatically? Did the outside weather affect this new found consciousness? (I probably drank too much coffee.)

The answer is: cycles

Change happens, your body reacts.

Sometimes you might not notice it at first, but it affects you. When you hear a faint noise in the distance but don't know where it's coming from...you don't know how or why, but you feel different. It's along the same lines as hearing a small mouse gnaw at something, and you can't tell which direction. Maybe it's a disconnected feeling, maybe it's a more closely attached feeling...but when an "event" happens, your body responds.

Last week, my dog, Brownie (15 yr. old Chihuahua) died in her sleep, after suffering many months of a large tumor under her belly. We didn't have the money to take care of the situation.

For a family member, initial feelings of guilt invaded the mind, followed by regret, and ended with depression.

Now...I wasn't a huge fan of this dog. I have very recent memories of her doing nothing but whining at the bathroom door, whining for food, barely moving, letting #1 or #2 on the carpet (right in front of me), and sometimes straight up confused about where she was. But...I never wished death upon her.

It's hard to explain, I wasn't emotionally phased by her death in a negative light...I try to imagine she's in a better place and her pain is gone. The only time it really affects me is when I look at her bed while I'm passing by the living room to get to the kitchen. You just notice that something...

...is different.

A living thing that was right there, vanished in the blink of an eye.

Being there, right there to discover it happen...made an impression on me. While I'm shocked by her death, I'm also enlightened by change. At one end, she was old and couldn't do much on her own, but on the other end, she was a roadblock to making any progressive change because so much care was being taken of her.

Today I found myself cleaning for 6 hrs. Doesn't happen often.

Change is an odd thing. There are those of us to make the jump right into change, some of us who talk about change, afraid of the unknown...and then there are simply some of us who wait for change to find us.

Right, so here's part of my playlist for today's cleaning:

Aesop - Smoker's Anthem

A hip hop song that emphasizes vibes inspired off of Cheech & Chong and "Low Rider" and embraces the idea of...well, you know. You don't need to be a botanist to figure out what this song is about. Promoting the happy commotion, whether you're a fan of the topic or not, this song is sure to invoke a more lively, upbeat community at your party, hangout, or camping trip.

Mindset - Jakarta (Original Mix)


As summer is ending, it is only fitting that I find a song...to call an anthem of this summer. I'm two years late but this song made an impression on me this year. Glowing textures, beautiful soundscape...you can practically feel the wind blow across your face bringing that cool oceanic breeze. This song gives me hope for electronica, as it is original as it is memorable for giving that early 90's trance vibe. Really good stuff, I always look forward to hearing more of Mindset.

Jens Felger - a poem


I haven't followed this artist for a long time, but from what I've heard, it's some pretty emotional classical guitar. While you're busy watering your garden, cleaning house, or simply taking a hike to enjoy the beauty in the world that is nature...listen to this song. It'll be memorable.

As always, thanks for reading.

I'm just a simple guy, asking questions. Questions for the asking.

I had a lot of time to think today. During my stay in an ER room, I had time to ponder the finer things in life...while watching Mrs. Doubtfire on CMT. But as the day progressed, I started to think...what would happen if I was really in an emergency. What would I be able to do to help myself recover?

I'm a pretty big fan of parties and the overall social experience. I like hanging out with friends just as much as any other guy, but...when it came to last Saturday, I can best describe my experience as..."too much." What I mean by that was...I was so into the mood of things that I lost my perception of what the consequences might be. I didn't restrain myself and I didn't limit my actions...so therefore, I drank way too much.

At the time, it felt really nice. I was light as a feather and every ping pong ball I threw into a red Dixie cup felt like perfection.

That is until the next day...

Headache, sore throat, stomach problems, etc. You name it, I had it.

As the day progressed, my condition felt worse. I hadn't had anything to eat and my body felt limp. My stomach kept growling but I just ignored it. Eventually, my friends invited me over the next day and I felt an uneasy feeling about the idea. I was hungry, but at the same time...wasn't. Something had gotten to me that day, and as I started to make hamburgers...I felt very lightheaded. Dizziness was a prevalent symptom too.

When all was said and done, I engorged myself with 2 hamburgers (full of ranch, hot sauce and peppers), a chicken patty, 2 helpings of Bush's Baked Beans and 3 large glasses of water. It was delicious and although I'd just eaten a ton of food...I still had this sickly feeling. It persisted from that day, until today. The pain moved from the center, to one part of my digestive tract, prominently on the right side and there...it stayed.

I feared for the worst this morning. Everyone fears the unknown.

Turns out, the entire 6 hour stay at the ER was...because I was full of shit. Literally.

So is there a life lesson to be learned out of this? I really can't say. What I do know, is that I now have a responsibility to take care of my body as much as possible. Things could've been a lot worse, and although it wasn't, I don't take that for granted. I've had some very close friends at this point who've experienced a lot worse than me and I'm grateful for my current state of health.

Take care of your body, it's the only one you have.

Right, onto happier music.

Here's my three picks for today:

First up: Beats Antique - Catskillz (JPOD Remix)



If there's something that can be said about this artist, it's that he has consistently bouncy textures, dynamic percussion, and catchy melodies. I honestly can't get enough of it. This might not qualify as your average party music, nor can it be classified as anyone genre but, it is definitely very intricately crafted electronica. Therefore you should listen to this and support this artist.

Next up: The Crystal Method & Riot Games - Lucian



If you're an electronic music fan, and you've been alive for the past 20 years, The Crystal Method should be a name you recognize almost immediately. The group is synonymous with big beats, phat textures, and well...truly creates the "Name of the Game". Check out this track, and be amazed

and last but not least: The M Machine - A King Alone (Robotaki Remix)



I've had the great privilege to see Robotaki grow as an artist. From humble beginnings on OverClocked Remix and unfinished remixes that...have become legend on the site, such as the infamous "Manoria Cathedral Revamp", to now...making a remix for one of the biggest acts in electronic dance music...there's nothing this guy can't do. An unbeatable groove, happy feelings, and chillin' vocals...this makes the list. Awesome work dude.

That's all for today, I'll definitely be taking a little bit of a break from blogging. Need to finish some music myself.

Thanks for tuning in. :)

Sellouts? What are they? Who qualifies as one?

I had a conversation yesterday that was quite peculiar. It's a touchy subject and one that needs explaining. How or why? I have no idea. But I'll begin by telling you, the term "sellout" has been used by almost everyone of my friends and most likely...all of your friends too.

What determines if someone is a sellout?

First: "sellout" (as described by everyone's favorite dictionary, Urban Dictionary): is an artist who conforms to the way record labels or managers see them to make money through commercial success and generally not the original fan base.

Now, being a struggling musician myself, I run everything I do on my own with no help from any outside source. Outside sources being...signed to a label, run by a manager, or being hassled or swindled for money from bigger corporations. I run every aspect of my business (because it's my business) and do what I can to make sure my music is heard. Twitter, Facebook, Soundcloud, and YouTube are all major key components in the music game but, I can understand when an artist is down on his luck...and needs to find a source of income. Why do labels exists? The same reason online social networking exists: advertisement.

The conversation I had with this genuine fellow, was about the rap group, "Atmosphere". Being no stranger to this artist, I felt thrilled someone else shared my enthusiasm about good music. A few members in the chat were praising this artist based on his lyrics, impeccable sense of "groove" and overall originally of compositions.

Until another person came in the chat shouting, "Yeah, he'd be great if he wasn't such a SELLOUT!"

Something snapped in my brain when I heard that. I felt as though, I...truly didn't know how to describe a sellout myself. So I began to question this individual who...had been, "high in the clouds". Was it pointless to start this argument? Possibly.

As it proceeded to go on and on, I searched up facts about the group, Atmosphere. All facts pointed to the same thing. Atmosphere was a group of rap artists who had been in the world of underground rap music for nearly the past 10 years and when they finally had the finances, they started their own label, "Rhymesayers Entertainment."

So not only did this group make their own music...they made their own label. I started to notice some similarities between myself and this group. They run everything themselves too.

So I guess the moral of this story is...check your facts. More importantly, know exactly what you're talking about before you say...what you "think" might be right.

My good friend, Jeroen Tel made a quote a few days ago, that sums up this mess of a blog...perfectly:

"The difference between -being right- and -thinking you could be right- is the difference between -breathing- and -holding your breath- (guess which one of each outlasts the other). Politics has a way with -holding it's breath-."

Thanks for listening, I'll end this blog with one of my favorite recent Atmosphere songs.